Time to Quit Stressin’ about what don’t need Stressin’
You’ve got too much on your plate already as a single mom.
You take care of the kids, homework, school, and you work. You take care of anything that breaks down in the house or the car. You take care of the lawn, you might do boy stuff that you are clueless about, you take care of the money and budget, you are responsible for emotional needs of your children.
I could go on…but this is getting depressing. And you already know what you have to do. Let’s talk about what you don’t have to stress about. What can you really let go?
Below is a list of 8 things to quit stressing about as a single mom. To personalize your own list, there is a free printable at the end of this post. You can download it from the free resource library.
Say whaaaa? Isn’t there a ton of research toting how this is the number one thing you should keep at all costs? If you don’t have a family dinner then you’ll teenagers will end up in jail?
Somehow my home has gone from out of control to almost serene at times and I have long since abandoned the family dinners. We only sit down as a family when we go out to eat (because we have no choice) or when one of my children cooks dinner. Otherwise, it is added stress on me.
I’ve learned if I’m yelling and stressed out, it’s a bad ending. What’s the thing that every expert says you have to do to raise happy kids but it simply stresses you out? Let it go. You’re the momma of your household, not those “experts”.
Worrying about your child when he/she goes to their other parent’s house.
This is a big one! Many moms want to talk to their children over the weekend when they drop them off at their dad’s house. They send all kinds of instructions about medications or bedtime.
Just let your child be.
I know it can be hard but if you are constantly interfering it will always be harder for both of you and neither of you will ever be able to let the weekends come and go. It also strains your relationship with your child’s father when it seems to him that you don’t trust him. You may not trust him, but calling or texting doesn’t help. This is something you don’t have control over.
I have witnessed (and experienced) many in this situation and the most successful are those who simply let their children spend time with their father for the weekend without interference.
Being that awesome sports mom.
If sports are totally your jam, then more power to you. This is for the rest of us.
You never get a rest. During those sporting practices, chill out on your phone if you want to. Who really cares what other moms think? They don’t know your life. If you want to sit in your car and read a book, do it. If you don’t want to sign up for treats, trust me, a ton of other parents will do it and they will have a ton of rules and you won’t get it right anyway.
Paying bills all the time.
Okay, you can’t really quit paying your bills. But what you can do is set almost all of them up on auto pay. This relieves an enormous pressure on you. If you are on a fixed income there’s really no reason not to set your fixed expenses up on auto pay. If you have a variable income, you still have fixed expenses that can be set up.
Another option is to set up your bills to auto-pay to one credit card that you designate to bills only. Then each month pay that credit card off. This way you only have one bill to pay each month instead of a dozen.
This relieves stress in many ways: you aren’t thinking about money constantly, you don’t risk possibly forgetting to pay a bill.
A clean house.
This was one of the first things I let go when I divorced. Since I always loved crafts but hated getting my stuff out just to put it away, I made my front living room my craft room. This meant it was always messy and it was the first thing people saw when they came over.
I decided I didn’t care. I traded a clean home for my joy. I traded cleaning for crafting.
When I didn’t have my kids on the weekends, I could spend my free time right in my living room with my crafts and not worry about anyone telling me to clean it up. When someone came over, I told them it was my craft room and to ignore it.
Who cares what other people think about the inside of my home? I’m not trying to sell it and I’m the one living there, not them.
Making friends with all your kids’ moms.
I think you can make great friends this way. In fact, I have a couple great friends as a result of my children’s moms. I dont’ discount this. On the other hand, don’t feel as though you have to get to know each parent to the point of friendship. Get to know them well enough so that you feel comfortable leaving your child with them.
Other people’s opinions of how you raise your children.
This is a big one because everyone has an opinion about you should raise your kids. Especially if you are single, divorced, co-parenting, or widowed. Every church, website, expert, or family member from every side, friend, not-friend, etc has a story as to why you should xyz for your child. Argh – exhausting!
The bottom line is that only you know your child and their specific needs. Only you intimately understand the situation from every angle.
Yes, you should seek advice from those you trust and get a wide variety of ideas and take into account how other family members are affected by your decisions but the bottom line is that you are the mother. I truly believe God made you the mother of this child for a reason. Take confidence in this.
Yes, we all make mistakes in parenting but we re-correct and learn. It’s what makes us a better parent and better suited to make future decisions for our own child. Only we see the effects of each decision on our child. Block out the noise and be the mom you were meant to be.
PTA/Room Parent/School Trips.
Most schools have plenty of parents or that one mom, that is all over this stuff. This means you can just let her. Yes, this is your ticket to take one thing off of your plate.
I’ve found I can barely do anything right at any of these anyway. One year I brought pop for a school party and a letter was sent out to all the moms for the next party saying a slushy machine was being brought in for the next party because whoever brought pop last time caused too many spills and sticky floors. Like a slushy machine won’t be sticky. But I totally appreciate the public reprimand. So, I decided I was done.
These moms live for this stuff, so I’m going to let them live. I live for quiet times at home for my kids. I am going to focus my energy there and not spread myself thin. Perhaps you’re the opposite? That’s great because I need you so I can skip out on those school parties!
Free Printable for Your List of Things to Quit Stressin’ Over
Your turn. Make your own list of things to Stop Stressing About. Print this out and hang it up where you can see it. Write down your top 8 things you will stop stressing about today! It can be big or small. The point is to become more aware of where you focusing your energy. Get this printable for free from the resource library, along with all my other printables!